I have been working on an interesting concept: Attractive v. unattractive sins. We all know about the unattractive sins. When we see them we rebuke them. When people escape from them we applaud, when we fall into them we hide them. I feel like I have been struggling with sins that are more attractive, and have been tricked into thinking are less worse. Attractive sins are the ones we "can't escape," the ones that are not taboo to talk about, the ones, if daring enough to take on, make you more spiritual. For me it is struggling with trusting in God's provision. (Doesn't it seem so mature to talk about.)
Brynne and I are honored and priveledged that God thinks we are ready for him to grow are faith. And I don't say that sarcastically or lightly. I have come to this conclusion after a lot of worrying and prayer.
Our constant prayer has been, "God give us just enough today so that we don't lose faith." He is constantly answering that prayer. We are learning to trust in Him for provision, and not trust in a job. It is easy to say I trust in God while you have a constant income, because secretly you trust in the fact that the checks will keep coming.
I have worried about several different bills and payments with no idea how to pay. God brought me to Matthew 6:8. "He knows what I need." Right now the idea of Him providing for what I need is too uncertain, so for right now it is good enough to just know "He knows what I need."
I'm finding it very hard to let go of control, but right now it doesn't seem like I have a choice. He's driving. And although I don't completely trust He knows where He is going, He is letting me see road signs along the way to let me know we're still going in the right direction. Eventually, He wants me to stop trusting in the road signs and just trust in Him.
That is my attractive sin. I pray I never become complacent about just talking about them, and learn to despise them just as much as the unattractive sins.
He is faithful to provide. Join with me in prayer when you think of me.
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2 comments:
Adam--
It's good to know that you are provided for... and that you recognize the "unattractive" sin in all of us, in our failure to be truly dependent on Him... for the regular and the mundane, as well as the large and significant. There is so much about Him and His love that our finite selves just can't comprehend... or worse, chose to ignore. Reminders like yours draw us (an you!) closer to Him. My prayer for you today is that He would continue to bring you to Himself in this way... and I am grateful for your growing "remote" wisdom.
Blessings to you and Brynne!
-The Old Guy
Grateful for this insight...
I just picked up a book on "Respectable Sins." It was disappointing, and I couldn't put my finger on why...
I believe it was because I was looking for someone to put into words what you have about attractive vs. unattractive sins. I am blessing God for prompting you to share this.
Thank you for following him, trusting his provision, and opening your soul to him and us.
Much love brother.
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