God is Cool

So God still hasn't provided Brynne a regular job, and I am getting the feeling that He might not choose to for awhile. I think He really wants to ingrain the concept that He is the one who provides. I admit that if Brynne did have a job it would be simple to transfer my trust away from God and towards that regular paycheck.

Anyway, Brynne has sent applications and resumes to approx. 40-50 places already. One day she gave a follow-up phone call to this place called creme de la creme. It is a high priced catering service. Apparently she called at just the right time because they were desperate for help on a party that Sunday. Because she was available they hired her on the spot. Later that day Brynne told me to give them a call; so I did. Because I was available they hired me too! About a half an hour later we got a call back from the lady and asked Brynne if she could work tomorrow, Brynne asked if I could work too and we both got the work.

So, two days last week Brynne and I got to work together making some money catering. This is where the cool part comes in. The Sunday party that we worked was really nice and expensive. We catered a private home that was overlooking the ocean (this was their summer home, 1 of 3). We ran food up and down from the house to the beach (where the party was). The really cool part was, they hired the Beach Boys to play their private party. So, pretty much Brynne and I got paid to go to a Beach Boys concert!

Still, no regular work, but God sure is cool.

My attractive sin

I have been working on an interesting concept: Attractive v. unattractive sins. We all know about the unattractive sins. When we see them we rebuke them. When people escape from them we applaud, when we fall into them we hide them. I feel like I have been struggling with sins that are more attractive, and have been tricked into thinking are less worse. Attractive sins are the ones we "can't escape," the ones that are not taboo to talk about, the ones, if daring enough to take on, make you more spiritual. For me it is struggling with trusting in God's provision. (Doesn't it seem so mature to talk about.)

Brynne and I are honored and priveledged that God thinks we are ready for him to grow are faith. And I don't say that sarcastically or lightly. I have come to this conclusion after a lot of worrying and prayer.

Our constant prayer has been, "God give us just enough today so that we don't lose faith." He is constantly answering that prayer. We are learning to trust in Him for provision, and not trust in a job. It is easy to say I trust in God while you have a constant income, because secretly you trust in the fact that the checks will keep coming.

I have worried about several different bills and payments with no idea how to pay. God brought me to Matthew 6:8. "He knows what I need." Right now the idea of Him providing for what I need is too uncertain, so for right now it is good enough to just know "He knows what I need."

I'm finding it very hard to let go of control, but right now it doesn't seem like I have a choice. He's driving. And although I don't completely trust He knows where He is going, He is letting me see road signs along the way to let me know we're still going in the right direction. Eventually, He wants me to stop trusting in the road signs and just trust in Him.

That is my attractive sin. I pray I never become complacent about just talking about them, and learn to despise them just as much as the unattractive sins.

He is faithful to provide. Join with me in prayer when you think of me.

SF Hopeful

I have been way out of touch this last 3 weeks with the Giants. Every once in a while I will get on a computer and check how they did in the last week. I was very pleasantly surprised to find out that they swept the Diamond Backs. So pleasantly surprised that it gave me hope that we could win the NL West! Who's with me? If we win all of the rest of our games we can still be a .500 team. I'm putting on my rally cap and not taking it off until it's over.

p.s. I'm seeing the Giants when they come to LA, it's going to be awesome. Anyone who wants to do a road trip is welcome to come to the game with me, either Friday or Saturday night.

Institute for Spiritual Formation

I had my first exposure to the "Institute." I was at school from 8am-5:30pm. I had three classes: Theology of Nature of God, Intro to Christian Spirituality, and Foundations of Spirituality and Retreat. I got a taste of all of the different ISF teachers. I have no idea what to think just yet. Although, I had great confirmation I was exactly where I was supposed to be while sitting in Coe's class. He was talking about the different movements in the church history, even though nothing really personal, some things deep inside my soul that wanted acknowledgment and justification, found freedom from hearing about the Christians who went before me. (More on exactly what that was maybe later.)
I'm trying really hard to make new relationships. I am guarding my thoughts from the weight of first impressions and trying to bless all of my relationships after our interactions. I am very curious to know who of these nameless faces will be some of my possibly deepest relationships.?.?
God has been good in all. He knows what he is about.

First Attempt at Blogging

Hello cyber world! I have rejected the idea of blogging for such a long time. This is my admission: I miss having an outlet to post my SOAP journals. Most of my posts will probably just be my thoughts on scripture. Other posts will deal with my current thoughts. My second intention for this blog is to create the conversation with those I moved away from. Although it will mainly be one-sided, at least I will be doing a small contribution towards letting San Jose know what is happening with me. Feel free to comment to make this blog more of a conversation; I would like that.